


His Hero

by constantconfusion14



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-21
Updated: 2020-04-21
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:21:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23763763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/constantconfusion14/pseuds/constantconfusion14
Summary: In which Chat has a breakdown (because honestly he has every right).
Comments: 20
Kudos: 93





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Be warned there are mentions of suicide, anxiety attacks and shock.

Adrien dragged his hands down his face for the umpteenth time that night. Why was this essay impossible?? His after school hours had been scheduled so full of prior commitments that he hadn’t had the chance to start working on this extensive literature assignment until close to midnight. Three hours later he had a good list of sources and a weak thesis but couldn’t come up with good topic sentences or evidence. Every time he looked at the Shakespeare text he became overwhelmed by the time crunch and couldn’t think properly. This was going to be an all-nighter.

The slam of a door downstairs broke him out of his pity-party. Was his father still awake? Adrien sighed heavily. Did that man ever sleep? Obsessing over fashion looked good on no one, especially a man grieving his wife and trying to raise a son. Suddenly, Adrien perked up with an idea. This was a perfect opportunity to speak with his father! Both of them were working through the night. They could sit in his father’s office and work silently together. A scene of father-son bonding over stressful work flashed through Adrien’s mind accompanied by many smiles from his father and even an “I’m proud of you, son” thrown in for dramatic effect. Excitedly, Adrien stuffed the necessary papers and texts into his bag and got up from the desk.

Plagg woke with a jolt. “Where ya going?” he murmured sleepily.

“I think father is still awake. I want to ask him if he wants to help me with my essay,” Adrien replied as he swung the door open. Plagg lazily floated over and sat on his chosen’s shoulder.

“You work too hard. This is why you shouldn’t have snuck out to school. Social interaction is overrated. All you need in your life is the god of destruction and five star cheese.”

Adrien just scoffed at his kwami as he descended the stairs. He never understood Plagg’s intense fixation on cheese. As he approached his father’s large office doors he opened his jacket, beckoning Plagg to the inside pocket. For a split second, Adrien paused before pushing the doors open. Usually Nathalie would be there to stop him from entering and tell him to try to see his father later. A small, rebellious smile spread on Adrien’s lips. He didn’t care if his father was busy right now, he was going to spend time with him regardless of any excuses.

A small, high-pitched voice cut through the silence. “Master, you should be getting to bed. It’s late.”

Adrien’s eyes widened and he glanced down at Plagg for confirmation. Who the hell was that? And _master?_ Sure, his father has assistants but that particular nickname was crossing a line. Realization hit Adrien like a truck. Had his father hired a sex worker to fulfill some dark fetish??

Plagg’s sudden movement jerked Adrien out of his thoughts. His eyes were huge and terrified. “I know that voice...” he whispered quietly.

“What?” Adrien asked, fearfully confused. Why was Plagg familiar with a prostitute’s voice? The world was about to come crashing down for the teenage model. First his father, now his kwami??

Before explaining anything, Plagg phased through the door before anyone could stop him. Adrien grabbed the door handle out of instinct and cracked the door open slightly to try and coax the tiny god back to the innocent side of things. He braced his eyes for what might possibly be the worst sight he’d ever seen.

But nothing could have prepared the young hero for what was inside the office. The door swung open completely and Adrien’s world shattered.

********************

It was a beautiful night in Paris. The temperature was warm enough to open the windows yet cool enough to comfortably snuggle under a thick blanket. A gorgeous, constant breeze blew through the streets creating a low howling sound which no other city sounds challenged. In other words, it was a perfect night for drifting into a dreamless sleep.

So of course, Marinette was awake. She had abruptly awoken from a rather nerve-wracking dream (nightmare?) a few minutes ago. Her eyes closed and brows furrowed as she tried to piece together what had shaken her so badly. She could only recall desperately sailing through the city as Ladybug trying to get...somewhere. There was no akuma, but something else was off. The feeling of being too late had brought her dream-self to tears. No matter how fast she swung on her yo-yo, she never moved. The buildings remained stagnant as the street below her rolled by on a continuous loop. She would never reach her destination, she wasn’t going to save him. But who was _‘him’_?

Marinette opened her eyes to stare back at the ceiling above her bed and focused on slowing her breathing. _In for five...out for five...in for five...out for five_. Slowly but surely her racing heart reduced itself to a jogging pace as opposed to a full out sprint. But the uneasy feeling refused to leave and her arms still trembled slightly. Something still felt off.

A tiny gasp next to her head scared her shitless. It took all her willpower to stop her from verbally screaming and instead she just flailed her arms wildly. Looking down at the source of the noise, Marinette met Tikki’s tear filled eyes. The kwami looked just as stressed as Marinette felt. Something was definitely wrong.

“Mari, something’s wrong.” That was a given.

“What is it? An akuma? Hawkmoth?? An akuma fighting Hawkmoth??” Wait, that didn’t make sense. Marinette took another breath to center herself. “Why are you crying, Tikki?” She whispered in a calmer tone.

“It’s Chat Noir,” the kwami stated quickly, her eyes dilating with concern. “Plagg sent me an emotional distress signal. We need to go, Marinette. Now."

Marinette needed no additional convincing. Before she even realized she’d spoken out loud, a pink light enveloped her. A spotted hand reached upward, opening the door to her balcony. A tiny voice in the back of her mind chastised her for stepping on her sheets with her Ladybug shoes(?) on but it was drowned out by a more pressing matter. Chat was in trouble and needed her. Pulling out the tracker on her yo-yo, she frantically scanned the map for her partner’s signal. His icon was nowhere to be found. _Where the hell is he?_ Marinette found herself starting to hold back tears. Having already been in a state of anxiety, this was pushing her over the edge.

Scanning the map was getting her nowhere. Ladybug slammed it back on to her hip and closed her eyes, trying once again to calm herself. She listened to the howling of the wind pushing through the streets below her and focused on it. A part of her wanted to follow the wind, as if she knew its end point. Having nothing else to go off of, she once again grabbed her yo-yo, threw it ahead of her and swung out into the sky. She was following instinct alone.

_Hold on kitty, I’m coming._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be warned there are mentions of anxiety attacks, suicide and shock, as well as a strong use of language.

Soon enough, Marinette found herself landing on the Eiffel Tower. The feeling of uneasiness settled slightly when her feet touched the cool, metal surface of the beam. Up this high, the breeze was stronger and whipped her stray baby hairs around the frame of her face. Had it not been for her magic suit, she’d probably be shivering. Ladybug jumped from beam to beam in a desperate search for her partner but couldn’t see much in the dark. “Stupid ladybugs and their stupid not-night vision,” she muttered to herself.

She suddenly heard a loud voice from behind her laughing maniacally. Deep concern spread from her heart and flowed through every inch of her body. How had she not noticed that earlier? Had Hawkmoth already taken advantage of Chat’s emotions? Memories of her akumatized partner from the future flashed through her mind making her internally wince from fear. She couldn’t go through that again.

Ladybug quickly whipped out her yo-yo and swung towards the familiar voice. She landed on a platform, about 10 feet away from the source of the voice. As her eyes adjusted to the dark Ladybug saw a boy in black sweatpants and a black t-shirt with his back to her. His fingers were aggressively gripping to the messy blonde mane atop his head. The terrifying laugh coming out of him degraded into a constant nervous chuckle which then became angry shouts at the air in front of him. Looking closer, she noticed the absence of a glowing butterfly mask.

Marinette sighed with relief and ducked behind the closest vertical beam and whispered to no one in particular “He’s de-transformed! That’s why I wasn’t able to track hi-"

“Kid, you’re scaring me. Please, step away from the edge.” Another, deeper voice tried to quiet her partner down. Thank god, he was speaking with his kwami and not Hawkmoth. Marinette decided to listen for a few moments before revealing herself. She tried to justify to herself that this wasn’t eavesdropping. They always observed an enemy before charging into battle, didn’t they?

“I trusted him! I _l_ _oved_ him and this is what he does? This is what he’s been doing all this time??” His voice radiated anger and betrayal but suddenly dropped in volume. “It’s ironic isn’t it? Enemies living under the same roof.” Then a crescendo back into a scream “God, I’m so _fucking stupid!_ ”

“How were you supposed to know? It’s not like he was very open about his extracurricular activities.”

“He went too far tonight. He’s never gone that far. He’s never gone that far. I didn’t think he’d ever go that far. He’s never gone that far…” Marinette could hear the tears falling from his eyes. She couldn’t take this anymore. The heroine took a step out of her hiding place but stopped briefly at the mention of her name.

“ -deserves your hatred. For now, just call Ladybug. She’ll listen to you. She’ll be able to help.”

Chat’s only reply was his hastened, shallow breaths.

“You gotta calm down, kid” Plagg countered with a wavering voice. This was not good.

“Why?” Chat’s voice retorted back. “Because I might be akumatized? Fine!” Marinette peeked out behind the beam again cautiously. She watched as the boy turned to face the city and yelled out “Come and get me Hawkmoth! I’m sure I’d be more useful to you as a monstrous pawn!” He whipped his back towards Plagg and Marinette slunk behind her pillar to avoid seeing his face.

“Better yet - why don’t I just throw myself off this cursed tower? I’d be more use to everyone that way!”

Ladybug gasped “Chaton,” before covering her mouth with her hands. But it was too late. She’d barely registered that she had verbally spoken before a fully armored Chat Noir pounced in front of her. _How the hell had he transformed so quickly?_

His knuckles tightly gripped the baton which was extended above his head in an attack position. His eyes glowed with anger and pain. This close, Ladybug could see the tear trails flowing down his cheeks and off his chin. His lips were pulled upwards in a snarl and the sound coming from his throat was completely guttural. This was not her partner. This was a feral, abused animal out to attack anything that threatened it. And it was terrifying.

“Ladybug?” Chat’s features softened immediately.

Marinette threw herself on the cat hero and hugged him tightly to prevent him from escaping her grip. At the soft physical contact, Chat Noir’s furious composure melted and he collapsed into sobs against his lady. The two heroes sank to their knees as a messy embrace of tears.

Adrien couldn’t even comprehend all of his thoughts as they shot through his head. Furious didn’t even begin to describe how he felt about his mom being Hawkmoth. Seeing Ladybug in the coffin beneath his house had been too much for him. And breaking down like this in front of his Hawkmoth? It was embarrassing and it didn’t make sense. Nothing was making sense. Why was his brain shutting down?? He just wanted his mother. He just wanted to hug his mother and hear her voice. He just wanted his mom.

“I want mom... to see my mom...wish I could die too...he’s going to kill mehe’sgoingtokillme _he’sgoingtokillme!._..don’t wanna die… just want her back” Chat sobbed almost incomprehensibly into Ladybug’s shoulder. She just held him tighter and soft tears finally broke through her mask and slid down her face. Seeing him like this was...not okay. The charming, ridiculous, loveable hero of Paris had been utterly broken and Marinette wanted to beat the _shit_ out of whatever was responsible.

After endless minutes of listening to her best friend fall apart against her shoulder, Chat slowly began to quiet down until only his unsteady breathing could be heard. Assuming he fell asleep, Ladybug pulled back to look at his face. He was still awake but he looked really out of it, like he was there but not there. Ladybug shook her partner gently to break him out of whatever anxiety-induced trance he had trapped himself in. Was he in shock?

“Hey, Chaton, are you with me?” She tilted her head to be directly in front of his and offered an uneasy smile. The cat blink a couple times and then slowly nodded, repositioning himself as he did so. He scooted back against the beam behind Ladybug so they were sitting right next to each other, backs supported by the unforgiving metal.

“Do you want to talk about it? I think we should.” The spotted hero offered kindly.

Adrien was silent for a couple minutes thinking how he could possibly respond to such an accidentally loaded question.

“Chat?” She tried again. “What happened? What’s wrong?” Her bluebell eyes found his and begged for any type of answer to explain the complete breakdown she had just witnessed.

“Everything,” was the only answer she received. Great. Because that narrowed things down.

“Would you rather we just sit here for a while without speaking?” Rewarded with a small nod, Ladybug pushed herself to sit straighter against the beam. Chat was slouched down quite a bit so she was able to reach her arm over his and just hold him as they watched the city glitter beneath them.

Marinette let her mind wander and try to comprehend the events of the night. Is this why she had awoken in a panic? Because something was wrong with Chat Noir? She’d have to ask Tikki in the morning. A connection that deep was...not typical right? She was fairly certain people didn’t normally exhibit signs of ESP.

She turned her head to look at Chat again. He was sweating slightly despite the cool wind rushing past them. His skin looked paler than usual except for a large red mark on his cheek and...were his pupils normally that large? His breathing still came out uneven and shaky and a slight tremor coursed steadily through his body. Marinette raced through her thoughts trying to place his symptoms. Was this an anxiety attack or something more? Should they be going to the hospital? Should she be-

“I don’t think I can do this anymore?” It came out as more of a question than he intended it to be but the logic was solid. At least, he thought it was. Obviously, he couldn’t keep up this hero charade. He was compromised. He was beyond compromised. Compromised didn’t even begin to descri-

“Do what anymore?” His lady coaxed ever so gently, not wanting to pry but desperately wanting to help.

“Everything.” Fuck. He’d already said that.

“Being Chat Noir?”

“Being anything. Being a hero. Being his son. Being me.” He didn’t dare meet her eyes. These personal thoughts had always scared him. He’d had them for a while but when his mom disappeared they got louder. Tonight, they were overtaking him and he was ashamed. “I’m so weak,” he whispered, hoping the wind would take the words away. To his dismay, Ladybug heard him.

“Like hell you are! You’re stronger than any person I’ve met! You take hit after hit for me and always manage to get back up. This time is no different.” Ladybug was able to conjure a stronger smile this time, hoping it was contagious. Chat didn’t even look at her. He just lowered his eyes to the floor.

More minutes of painful silence scrapped by. Slowly, Adrien was pulling himself back into a sensible mindset. He’d gone farther than he’d expected himself to go and was beyond humiliated that someone, especially _Ladybug_ , had witnessed it.

“What happened to your face, Chat?” Marinette held her breath as she waited for him to respond. This was too much to take in. So many things were wrong with this picture and she felt the weight on her shoulders to put all the pieces back together perfectly. Something told her she was attempting the impossible.

“My father.” Came the slow response. “He’s never gone this far but tonight...he crossed a line. We both did I guess.”

Some poor bastard was going to die tonight, Marinette convinced herself. She would pull Chat’s ring off, learn his true identity, find his father and beat the ever-living shi-

“I thought my mom was dead. Turns out that’s not true.” Wait, what? Ladybug could only stare at him with a puzzling glare.

Chat met her eyes briefly and calmly continued. “Father’s been keeping her in a glass coffin in a state of suspended animation hidden in a bunker in our basement. Pretty weird, huh?” Wait. _What?_

“And turns out he’s also Hawkmoth, haha. Pretty ironic, right? Oh, maybe I can write about irony in my essay…” Chat’s eyebrows furrowed deep in thought as if he were actually pondering literary themes at the moment.

Marinette's heart stopped as quickly as a crash test vehicle slamming into a cement wall. Chat was the dummy, cracked and broken from the accident. The engineer who'd pulled the trigger hadn't thought twice about the damage he'd caused.

Ladybug tightened her grip around her partner’s shoulders. This was a lot to take in. No wonder Chat had..shattered. Every time she thought she’d come up with a good response to his explanations, Ladybug changed her mind as she tried to digest another piece of information.

Adrien couldn’t do this anymore. He was overwhelmed by everything. He had to escape somehow - he needed to be alone. Maybe he could fake falling asleep and she’d leave him. He quickly pushed the idea out of his head. Ladybug was far too kind and protective. She would never leave him alone up here. That left only one option: _he_ had to leave.

It was time to pull out his familiar, trained, confident disguise. He took a few breaths, convinced himself he would be okay for 60 seconds and stood up, shocking Ladybug as he did so.

“Well, m’lady cat-ching up was purr-ty fun. But I’m feline better now so I’d best be off meow. Gotta collapse into a cat-atonic state of mew-sery somewhere in the streets ahahaha…” Adrien sent finger guns her way, internally wincing at the overuse of puns. He probably shouldn’t have added that second sentence, either. Maybe she wouldn’t notice. Chat Noir quickly grabbed his baton from the ground and went to vault off the ledge but someone grabbed his wrist and foiled his plan.

“No. And meowch. It physically pained me to listen to that.” Ladybug offered another gentle smile and Chat returned it sheepishly. His mind didn’t even register that she’d just made a cat pun in response to his. He was torn. He wanted to be alone so badly but he couldn’t deny how safe she made him feel. He turned his shoulders back towards her, reassuring her that he wouldn’t leave - not yet at least.

Ladybug watched as the small smile on her partner’s face was once again replaced by a look of concern and deep thought.

“Hey, Chaton, whatcha thinking about?” _Just keep him steady. Just keep him steady._

“If only it had been a fucking prostitute.” 

_What??_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Hiya! This is the first fanfic I've posted so I'm super excited to finally have it up. I intended for this to be a two-shot with a potential third 'alternate ending' chapter if I get around to it. Thanks for reading!


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